How to create a bio for your online persona

Often times I am stumped on creating an online personal bio for various sites and need a little help in getting started.

Often times I am stumped on creating an online personal bio for various sites and need a little help in getting started. Most of the time I use "guy on the internet" as I am usually not clever enough to come up with something after trying in vain to figure out a password scheme that fits the developer's crazy idea of what a strong password is for the new persona.

Vox.com created an online job description generator that I really liked. This gave me the idea of combining a few to come up with something solid that represents the shear amount of BS I want to convey into less than 140 characters.

I listed some of the fresh steaming piles of BS it created below:

Ephergent is a asset who uses non-apology apologies to create dead horse rhetoric of incentivizing in making short-form content

Ephergent is a lone wolf who uses drunken econometrics to create best practices of monetizing in growing plans

Ephergent is a reject who uses drunken econometrics to create hyper-acute awareness of forging in mommy blogs

Ephergent is a consultant who uses Dilbert cartoons to create exciting advances of growth hacking in communism

Ephergent is a intrapreneur who uses synergy to create synergistic relationships of incentivizing in reimagining the everyday

Ephergent is a Nickelback apologist who uses thinking outside the box to create native apps of positive margins in new media

Ephergent is a generalist who uses radical clarity to create user-generated hot takes of winning in the cloud

Ephergent is a hacker who uses ancient Sumerian poetry to create alternative methods of mansplaining in maintaining the patriarchy

Finally, after some mental gymnastics I came up with this:

Ephergent is a lone wolf hacker intrapreneur who uses synergy to create synergistic outside the box relationships of incentivizing in reimagining the everyday in the winning of the cloud

Yep, that is me in a nutshell. Tons of buzzwords and no content.

Give it a try and let me know what you come up with, bonus geek points for adding it to your LinkedIn profile.

Thanks for reading

http://www.vox.com/2015/3/19/8252353/generate-your-own-bogus-job-description